The title for this old post is a bit of a weird one, not going to lie.

Is there any perfect environment to hang out with strangers? I definitely wouldn't say getting picked up in car by a stranger is great. Or agreeing to spend the weekend in a barn with them in the middle of nowhere? Following another car full of strangers down the darkest little forest paths, feeling like you're about to be stabbed?


Well, all of these things happened almost 3 weeks ago now (WHAT).
And yes, I guess you could argue that it didn't happen with strangers, we've talked online pretty much every day for the last year and a half, I've met up with most of them at least once and I feel like I know them better than I know myself.

But yes, there is a perfect environment set up for spending time with people you barely know IRL, and I'm pretty sure we achieved it. Talking Tables, the bae's that have taken us under their wing, sent us loads of great bits and bobs to make the aptly named Party Barn feel like it fell out of Pinterest.

In case you didn't know, the 16th of September was my 24th birthday. I know, I don't look a day over 20. Now the gals, because they're ridiculously cheeky rascals and little shits (said with so much love I can't even explain) were beyond sneaky and organised the party barn to be decorated with lots of party gear so we could celebrate in style. And Gwennans Mum (Thanks Liz) made us a delicious cake and Gwennan decorated it with fondant versions of ourselves and it was fab. In all seriousness I haven't been this surprised in ages and it was SUCH a nice start to the weekend. I'm sure I'll write a gushy post about it at some point but this post is all about the decor.


Every inch of the barn was covered in something from TT, from the iridescent curtains to balloons all over the floor.

Talking Tables are a brand doing PR with bloggers SO right. They're so friendly, lovely and just all round babes. Even if they hadn't sent us stuff for the picnic back in August last year, I'd still be swooning over their website and hanging up their decor to brighten up my tiny, overpriced and thanks to a constant broken boiler, freezing cold London room. So the fact that they want to work with me and my tiny space of the internet is beyond amazing to me.

Of course, they were in with the whole surprising me thing, so they sent the gang enough bits and bobs that they wouldn't need my stuff, and didn't tell me a thing. The candles spelling 'Get Lit' are probably my favourite thing, I've kept them for myself in anticipation of more birthdays and celebrations. It was great being around a group of people who didn't even flinch at relighting the candles THREE times so we could get the perfect Boomerang.


Fairy lights are, let's be honest, the perfect blogging accompliment to any scenario. They even make my aformentioned dingy room look cute... sometimes. I have them everywhere. And Talking Tables sent us 4 different types, in cool, warm, pink and some incredible pastel ones. The variety of colours lighting up the room made it even more cute, especially when we made it back from our walk a full 6 seconds before the heavens opened... it felt so cosy inside.


And what party is complete without a very competetive game of Prosecco Pong? It was me and Effi vs Hannah and Sarah... and Effi and I were obviously the best team, I mean, come on. Do you even need to ask who won? It was such good fun to have a good old game of it, get through a couple of bottles of bubbly and get some brilliant boomerangs of the whole thing. Because did something even happen if you didn't boomerang it?


On the Sunday morning we had heavy hearts of leaving each other later that day, so we headed to the on sight pool (fancy) with our Talking Tables inflatables, ready to float around photogenically. There wasn't a lot of swimming in this, not gonna lie, but there was a lot of holding cameras in very precarious positions to get that 'perfect shot'. And floating round the pool on a giant inflatable pineapple sipping from a disco ball cup was a very relaxing, and bloggerific, end to the weekend.


Overall Talking Tables really added another dimension to this weekend, whilst us 5 (Nina couldn't make it unfortunately) could have had an amazing time sat in any old room, they really made it even more worth our while. I've linked up all the products I've talked about and would definitely recommend to a friend.

*We were sent these products from Talking Tables in exchange for a review but I honestly love the pants off them and all opinions are my own*

You know, unless he was a sister...

Ha I jest, I've had my influence on Jack and now he spends his spare time doing cartwheels and trying to get into the splits. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course.


Anyway, I remember when my Mum told us we were going to have another little sibling, I was not impressed.For context, Jack has a different dad to me and my other brother, but that's kind of irrelevant. I didn't want a smelly nappy baby (this has actually become what I call Jack) invading my life, ya know, plus I was a hormonal 15 year old and didn't want things to change.

As time rolled round I got more used to it. But I still remember the day that Jack was born, getting the call that it was a boy. Again, not impressed. I already have one brother, I don't need another, I've always been the only girl in my entire family (up until two weeks before Jack was born lol) and I'd had enough of it. Plus, dressing up girls is fun.

But you know, the wonderful thing about babies is that you can't dislike them. Babies generally bring everybody together in a warm fuzz of babiness and that's exactly what happened.

Let's skip through the first few years of Jacks life, because although babies are cute, they're pretty boring. Especially when they're crying all night.

I can't really pinpoint when Jack became such a huge part of my life. Probably just before I went to University, so he would have been 4 and I would've been 18. I remember when I left home and he kept bringing teddies out to the car for me to take with me. Oh gosh, that made me get emotional again, uno second.

I don't really want to go into too much detail here, but the first year of Uni was rough. Jack (although he will probably never know it, unless this blog is still around when he's a grown up, in which case, hello future) got me through a lot. And it's a lot of dark stuff that I barely talk about with my bffl, let alone the one person that's reading this blog from a dark corner of the UK.

Having someone young around you, forces you to be positive. There's this little piece of person who doesn't know how shit the world can be, hasn't been influenced by any negativity and doesn't know there's ratass boys (or girls) around. And there's something so incredibly heart warming about that. I never wanted to be someone who negativitised (is that even a word) Jacks view on life. It's nice to know that his view on the world is pure, and obviously that's lessened as he got older, but it's still cute.


And in a weird kind of way, having that stability of a young person to look after, or think about how my actions could effect him, stopped me from doing a few things that would probably have impacted my life now. Deep, I know.

He got me this proper cute quote for my recent birthday (hello grandma) and it's probably the cutest thing I've ever recieved. I know it sounds a bit sad but he probably is like a best friend to me. Not in the way that I tell him about boy troubles (mainly because he's been in a 'relationship' longer than me lolz) or job problems, but in the way that he can actually cheer me up at any point. If I call my Mum with problems and I'm grumpy she will always get me to speak to Jack because he makes my heart a bit happier.

Also, I actually lived in the house when Jack was, you know, hard work. When he was an actual baby and needed feeding and changing and looking after. And you know you're always aware of how hard kids are, but I think it's something you never truly know until you're around a kid all the time. And not saying that it's bad to have kids now or that I would have had 3 kids by now if Jack wasn't a thing, but it's made me realise how hard it is. And how there's things I want to have on a personal level before I have children. I know that plans never really follow through (in the middle of a life career crisis I couldn't be more aware) but it's nice to have ideas in place isn't it.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, thanks Jackywackydoodah. Also, remember folks, if you get news of something you feel will ruin everything, you never know, it could be the best thing that ever happens to you.

You may have noticed that me and some fab bloggers went away on a little staycation a week and a bit ago... we've posted about it on every corner of the internet.

BECAUSE IT WAS AMAZING.

I'm going to do a post about the actual weekend at some point (probably...tbh reminiscing makes me sad) but I kinda wanted to post a wee post about how we became bffls and stuff.




I see a lot of people on Twitter saying that they wish they could have blogger friendship groups, or even passive aggressively indirecting moaning about how people who have friends from blogging.

I can't stand any of this pettiness that is often showcased on social media. If you have a problem, say it properly and not snidy. Yeah, sometimes as a group we have hilarious conversations on Twitter (there is a squirrel emoji and not a chipmunk one... just ignore Sarah), and maybe it comes up on your feed a lot. But ya know what? If you wanna, join in.

*Insert the emoji of a lass shrugging her shoulders*

I think a lot of people sit around and wait for things to happen (which tbf, I'm not denying happened to us, all thanks to Sarah), but if you really want something, do it yourself? Nobody's going to get angry at you for starting a twitter conversation or sliding into someones DM's to have a chat. Unless it's automated of course.

So how did we start?

Back in about June 2016, I was sat at my aunties house in the murky weather that only English summertime can bring, probably watching Friends and sipping a peppermint tea. I remember it well when Sarah's message popped up saying that she wanted to organise a picnic and she wanted us to help her organise it. And ya know, the rest is history.



Having friends that you've met online will probably seem weird, and a problem that only us millenials would face. But ya know what? It's been probably one of the best things to happen to me, to have people that are so unrelated to my day to day life, don't know the people that are a constant around me, to be able to unload on them. And when we were away, I've never felt so comfortable with a group of people in my life. There was no talking behind people's back (except for them organising my surprise, the rascals), no awkwardness and everything just worked.

So sorry for the rantiness and lack of direction this post has taken, but seize the day. Speak to people you think you'd get on with and see what happens. 

I don't really know what I want to achieve by this post.

It's probably going to turn into one of those rambly, moaning posts which I love but you probably don't.

I have pretty much always suffered with low confidence. I was a confident kid, but once I did all that growing up it went again, and then took another nose dive when I ventured off to University.



It's taken another nose dive recently, probably because of my mental health at the moment but also because, to be honest, I really don't think a lot of myself. At all.

I don't feel like I deserve to be happy, I don't compare to anybody, nobody really wants me around and I'm unsure of everything. But who does this to me? I do.

I have a wonderful boyfriend, who constantly says and makes me feel like I'm actually not horrific to look at or be around. I have some great friends, family and nobody has actively said anything horrible about me or my appearance for quite some time. So why do I continue to think that they do?

The thing is, think of it like this. I worry my hair doesn't look right, my clothes don't suit me, they're too bright, they're too dark, the lipstick I'm wearing makes me look extra pale... you name it. But if I'm walking down the street and I see a woman in bright red lipstick. Am I going to think, oh that lipstick doesn't go with her eyes, when her hair is up it shows off her chest bones and looks terrible, her dress doesn't go in at the waist.

No.

Tbh, I could see a woman going out in a lingerie stocking and whilst I'd probably be like wtf, if she was confident in what she's wearing I'd still admire her. So why do we think that people think things about us that we don't even think about others?

I don't really know where I can go with my confidence here, or my general well being, and I don't really know the point of this post.

I just kinda wanted to get it off my chest.

I know it's a lot easier for me to say to you, I know it's hard to listen to advice from someone you've probably never met but next time you tear yourself down for something about yourself, think about whether you'd even notice that on someone else. I'm gonna hedge my bets with you wouldn't.

Yes it's great to be all girl boss and love yourself and all that shibbaz, but I need to focus on the reality of me.

Take one step at a time, wear/do whatever it is makes you feel good. Don't wear pink 'cause you think it makes the boys wink, don't wear frilly tops just because they're in fashion, wear that blue dress that you think brings out your eyes. Because that's the first step.

And I'll try and follow my own advice too.

So recently I got the dreaded '80% left of your daily allowance' text. Probably about 10 days after my monthly contract had started. Whoops.

I don't even have Pokemon Go to blame anymore.

My first thought was kinda unpublishable, the thought of going around 2 weeks without data was unthinkable and the pennies left in my bank account shook their head at me paying again. So I turned off my data, vowed to only turn it on if I actually needed it, and it's been like that ever since.



1. I am addicted to my phone and the Internet.
To be fair, I think most of us are. And you don't really realise how bad you are when you don't have it. When I was in Greece and Lapland I lived off wifi, which was weird but I was also kinda too busy to miss it that much. But sitting on a train for 50 minutes (more with delays, lets face it) and not having Twitter to scroll is weird. But kinda nice. And I got to call my grandparents a lot more which is always nice.

2. Social Media doesn't move as fast as you think
I mean, I'm not one to blow my own trumpet but the first day I expected to come 'online' to hundreds of WhatsApp messages and notifications and emails. Apart from the Squad this didn't really happen. Anything I'd missed on Social Media wasn't as important as I would think, to be honest it's kinda good to get away from it all.

3. It's nice to actually BE with people with no distractions
I went home this week, and I don't think this no internet shibazz could have come at a better time. Whilst the train home was a total bore, it was nice to be with people without that constant buzzing in your bag. I went out for dinner, I went down the beach and spent lots of time with Jack without anything else on my mind. I even left my phone behind sometimes... shock.

4. I worry more about travelling in London than I think
My number one worry about having no internet was what if something happened in my commute. How would people know how I was? It's something I don't, well, try not to think about much because tbh it scares me a lot, but I think this kinda brought it to life how bad I am. I told my family, bffl and boyf that if something happened to text or ring me, but still.

5. Reading is fab
I used to be such a big reader. When I first moved to London back in 2012 (ouch, I'm old) I had all those visions of me sitting in Starbucks sipping on a latte (I didn't even like coffee then) watching people move by whilst reading on a best seller. Needless to say, that's not happened. I barely have enough money for an expresso shot in Starbucks and as for time to sit in there, that's non-existant. But I did find that whilst I had no data I found myself reaching for books a lot more. I read a lot about the Tudors and I found it made my journey go a lot quicker, and was nice to be distracted from my thoughts a lot.
(I know, I have thoughts... I was shocked too!)

6. Using your phone is so habitual
Even though I knew it hadn't gone, I found myself reaching for it all the damn time. I'd find myself opening up the Instagram app to do a little story of a sunset and then being shocked when nothing happened. It becomes such a big part of our lives to be constantly contactable, so what if you don't reply to someones message NOW? If someone needs to get hold of you in an emergency, they'll find a way.

7. You can be SO productive
Here I am, sat on my train back from the Island and I've fully written out and scheduled a blog post, and have another one to write after this. Normally I would have probably spent the journey sprawled out on the seats scrolling through Twitter and bugging my friend over WhatsApp. When I'm on the train too I work on spreads in my BuJo (all about the looks I get) and planning blog posts, it's amazing how much you can actually get done on your commute.

8. I'm gonna keep it up
My contract gets refreshed on the 31st, and originally I planned to get more data but I don't think I will now. I'm gonna keep my mobile data off whenever I'm out and about and just turn it on to check trains and buses and stuff. I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago about only ever seeing things through our phones and this is something I'm consciously trying to keep an eye on at the moment. My phone is normally always on 'Do Not Disturb' mode anyway so it's not that much of a step.

Similar rules apply to cider and potentially Stilton
I nominate Sarah from ItsNOTsarahann
Gwennan I can't wait to see you howling again
Aren't you guys lucky you get to Q&A with a slug
I'm gonna slap you both into oblivion when we reunite

We owe everything we have to Satan
You pull off the vag basically, give it a finger and a suck
Not a single fishy substance
FOR GOD SAKE WHY WONT YOU SEND ME A PHOTO OF MY MUG
How I made my millions from roast dinners
She did have a fake FB profile and fake penis though haha

I'm up for sharing milk effi
It's nowhere near as good as the mel icon
To me, Hannah is like an old German Castle
A lovely afternoon of tea bagging

Can you guess who sent which one?