Am I a Real Londoner Now?

You know that episode of How I Met Your Mother when they all have to race across New York in different methods to prove a point, and Robin doesn't think she's a true New Yorker?

I'm a bit like that at the moment.



After coming to the disgusting realisation that five years ago this month I packed up my room on the Isle of Wight ready to move to Whytleleafe... or more important start studying and living in London.
FIVE. YEARS.
I could have had 5 kids in that time? That's half a decade? I could have walked about 21,000 miles? (Probably)

That thought sickens me. If you couldn't tell. But it got me thinking, am I a real Londoner now?

So I thought I'd write out a little list of things I think qualify you for being a true Londoner.
(Side note, I may have stolen a couple from HIMYM)

- Audibly sighed at people who stop in your way
- Witnessed some sort of funny drunken shenaningans on the Tube (once I saw some people having a fake table tennis match across the carriage and when people came on they joined in)
- Cried on the Tube and not given a ratsass what anybody thought
- Fallen asleep on public transport and ended up somewhere you didn't want to go
- Lost something on the Tube
- Walk around with the constant ‘I hate my life’ face
- Known the Tube map better than your own hand
- Told a story to a ‘non-Londoner’ about how expensive something once was in the capital (£14.50 for a single vodka and cranberry…?!?!)
- Not even winced at being pushed into someone’s armpit on the Tube
- Thought you could outwit Citymapper with some great shortcut
- Been wrong
- Crammed yourself onto a Tube when it looked like there was no room
- Rolled your eyes at someone who did the same
- Given someone evils as they ask if you can move down when there is about 0.00001 mm between you now, and you having your hand on someones bum
- Sighed at the WHOLE two minute wait before the next bus/train/tube/boat
- Always have your Oyster/contactless card ready for the gates
- Are fully aware of card clash
- You get shocked when you leave London and notice people actually smile at each other
- Whispered on the Tube to your mate because of the whole ‘don’t talk on the Tube’ unwritten rule
- You know what stations to avoid at rush hour, despite what Citymapper/TfL says (Bank at rush hour is a major no go… am I right?)
- You grumble ‘How hard is it to stand on the RIGHT?' at least 40 times a day
- You know where the doors of the train/tube open (and are maddened by stations making this obvious so regular peasants can beat you to the front of the line)
- Whenever you leave London you feel like you’re a billionaire because of how much you can get for your money
- Meeting a friend on the other side of the river is as likely as meeting them in Taiwan
- When you constantly consider leaving London before you remember how much you’d miss it


What do you think? Is there anything missing from this list? Are you a true Londoner?

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